Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
