return my video game
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
