We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
