Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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