and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
