It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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