Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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