State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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