I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Randomize
