I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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