So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just high enough for therapy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
