i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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