i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
