hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
