I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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