In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
