Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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