Moan for me like Helen Keller
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
