i think my mom watched the whole time
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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