Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
