Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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