you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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