Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
