Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
