my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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