Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
