AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
