school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
this hospital has no fireball
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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