And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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