we're blogging at a bar
Small penises have feelings too.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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