PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
