lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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