Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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