I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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