Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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