I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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