sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
