Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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