rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
