when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
