I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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