i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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