how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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