She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
