one two three fourrrrnication!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
