Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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