i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
