Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
