you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
