Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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