i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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