and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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