So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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