I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people