Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
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i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
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The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.