We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize