Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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