Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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