I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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