If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
